Wednesday, August 30, 2006
ever have the feeling that you are stuck in a situation where whatever the next action you take will leave you in a bad spot? well, i'm facing it now. and the feeling totally sucks. it's like i want to do something about the situation but i'm afraid that if i do something, anything, the person will flare up again. and if i do nothing i will start thinking about alot of bad things. i hope the person will forget about it and let things be like it was in the past. but deep down, some part of me will be happy if things don't turn out okay.got back report slips today. didn't do really well. but didn't expect to get As. oh well. i really have to work very hard now for the next one month.my best friend in singapore is very sick now. i really hope she gets well soon. miss her so much. will be praying for her. dad is in korea now and my brother is acting like he's the head of the family. he always is like that when my dad goes overseas. odering my mum around, insisting that i must let him do things his way and letting him use everything first. who does he think he is? he's the youngest in the family and yet he is doing this.i feel so bad about treating that person that way. things were okay about a year or two ago but then it suddenly went haywire and i ended up hurting someone. that person's even one of my best friends. i can't stand seeing that person like this. it's like that person can never forget about it. i really blame myself for bringing this upon that person. i really hope i'll be forgiven. if i could change the past, i wouldn't have made things turn out this way. i feel terrible. but there's nothing i can do about it. i'm sorry.
the GREEN damsel. at 9:28 PM
Saturday, August 26, 2006
served my d.c yesterday in the computer lab. spent 1 hour plus cleaning the computers. according to my computer ed teacher, they HAD to be cleaned until they were dust free. how on earth were we supposed to do that if he gave us DRY rags to clean? he didn't even let us dampen the rags so that the dust could come off easier. talk about major torture. he knew i am having flu and the whole day i was having a runny nose. and there he was. making me go near dust. after 10 minutes of cleaning my nose ws already super red. he said to tell him after we're done cleaning. i told him i was done and he went to check. he put his hand into the very hard to rech place and then showed me all the dust on his fingers. come on! the cloth was super thick! he made all of us re-clean the computers about 5-6 times before he let us go. trust me. i was about to stuff a mouse up his butt. i seriously hate him. he won't be getting a teacher's day present from me. i bet he won't even be getting presents from anyone in my class.
final year exams in about a months time. i didn't do too well for my recent tests. determined to mugg like crazy for the next few weeks. a few subjects i need to concentrate more on: geography, science, chinese and math. especially math. i really really want to do well for end-of-years. sigh..
why do all nice movies have to come out at this period of time when the exams are coming? i want to watch almost all the movies that are showing now. and i can't even go out with my friends. i've been grounded for a month. why? cause i lied to my mum about going out 2 days in a row and i felt really guilty so i grounded myself. so if i want to watch movies, i have to watch with my mum. not that i'm using her just so that i can watch movies but i really want to watch with her too. the thing is she's super busy, i can't even get a few hours of her time.
the GREEN damsel. at 12:12 PM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
i hate the feeling of being sick. i can't enjoy stuff. but who cares. i'm eating lots of junk food without my parents knowing. my throat really itches.
ohmygosh. i hope i don't get into any trouble for leaving early. computer-ed teacher wanted the whole class to stay back just because 2 people disconnected 2 mouses from the computer room. come on. it's just 2 mouses. he can fix them back by himself. it's not like something was stolen or anything. it's like he was using the disconnected mouses as an excuse to make us saty back so that he can scold us cause we weren't listening during class and all of us were walking around. and it isn't my fault that i left earlier. i was hungry! i think he'd rather i leave without him knowing than have me faint in class and he'd have to take responsibility for causing his student to faint from starvation.
joking with me and about me is fine. but i think they should stop when i say it's enough. some things can be quite offending and hurting. but i don't feel like quarrelling with them so i just laugh along. i'm almost to the point of breaking down. almost can't take it anymore.
the GREEN damsel. at 7:11 AM